Release
by M-useless100
Summary: What would have happened if Edward hadn't made it in time to save Bella from the hungry grasp of James?


a/n For those of you reading my other unfinished stories, yes I do plan to update them so don't get upset when you see that i've started another story.

that being said, I don't usually support stories that alter the original story of literature but it's just Twilight and I think ya'll will understand ;)

* * *

"Gone," Alice says. She's still talking to me. I can tell by the way her lips are moving, but there's only a buzzing sound. My complete focus is on the girl lying limply in my arms. She's so warm, but still cooler than a normal human should be. Or rather, a healthy human should be.

"Bella," I whisper into her hair as my lips pressed against the top of her head. The blood clinging there is cool; not the way I'd imagined it so many thousands of times. And despite myself, the monster roars. It rears its ugly head wanting nothing more than for me to make the most of what is left of that precious liquid.

I can feel Alice pulling at my grip now as she senses my growing mania. "Edward, let go of her," she pleas as she tries to reason with me. "We need to get her out of here. The studio is going to burn down."

Let it burn I think. Let it burn like I've burned in so many ways: burned with hunger for her blood, hunger for her love, hunger for her touch. Like I now burn with a consuming, unquenchable hate for who has done this.

My eyes flick up from the girl's ashen face toward the large fire a few yards away. It's all that is left of that monster; it's not enough. I remember the other vampire's flippant regard for human life, his childish excitement when he thought he'd found a game worth playing. What he didn't expect when he created his plan was for everyone to lose. The prize had been survival and no one, neither vampire nor human had achieved it.

The monster inside me grows stronger as it feeds off of my heated emotions: my hate and my thirst. A ferocious snarl erupts unbarred from my throat. _The bastard_.

As I look around almost unseeing with a red haze in my mind I take in everything around me. No one and nothing is safe from my wrath. The small woman before me looks stunned. No doubt she senses my lust for vengeance. I can see images in my mind of the two of us fighting, then squaring off with the two men closest to the fire, and tearing at the throat of the blond woman several yards to my left. They set the monster inside me to howling with pleasure.

On with it then.

A loud snap distracts me momentarily. I glance down and notice the slightly misshapen arm of the girl in my lap. In my fury I'd accidently broken it. _The first move_, grins the monster. But as cold reality crashes over me my hot fury dies. What have I done?

Bella...I remember her name; the name of my first and only love. A soft touch on my arm and I realize as Alice pulls me up what I almost did. The images I had seen were visions of the future that I had stolen from her mind. They'd been so very close to becoming reality. Instead, Bella had- even in death- saved me from becoming the monster I truly was. She'd distracted me from my bloodlust long enough to remind me who I was. And I had repaid her by mutilating her corpse. A monster still.

As Alice pulls me forward I can't feel anything but the crook of my arms where Bella's still body rests. It grows colder as my own cold, parasitic body steals what is left of her memory. "Bella, Bella." I realize belatedly that I've been relentlessly muttering her name. If it bothered Alice she didn't let on.

A few moments later we're several miles away safe from witnesses and further damage. Alice releases me as I carefully I lay what's left of my Bella at the base of an Acacia tree and push her thick hair away from her face.

I can hear Alice murmuring to Emmett on the other end of the line, and I try to tune them out. I don't want to hear how they plan to cover up the truth of what happened today. Because it doesn't matter to me. I will know. I will live for eternity with the truth of today.

Or would I…?

A bleak, demented hope begins to form. It's not an easy task, but as evident by today my kind can be killed. I just couldn't do it by myself.

"Edward," Alice calls gently. I feel a flash of alarm when I realize my mistake. Alice must have seen my decision. "Emmett is going to bring her car over. It will have to look like an accident."

Relief and dread wash over me. Alice is too preoccupied to glance ahead into my future, but I also realize what she's asking me to do.

"I can't leave her," I whisper.

"You don't have a choice, Ed."

I know she's right. She knows it too. If it comes down to it she is strong enough to drag me away, but she doesn't because our retreat is inevitable. There is no longer a 'Bella and I' to think about. The words are agony in my mind. But even as I crumble beneath their weight, I am aware that I am still obligated to my family. I got them into this and I wouldn't leave them with a sword hanging over their heads. I couldn't save her, but maybe I can save them before I go.

Kneeling down next to Bella I stare at her still perfect face. There is no sign in it of what occurred in the last twenty-four hours only an empty expression as if she's just sleeping and will wake any moment. Will this be the last time I see it? I memorize her beautiful features at the thought.

Before Alice can remind me of the need to move quickly I very carefully lean forward and place a final kiss on Bella's lips. It's the first time the action is free of any hunger- vampiric or human. No blood to tempt me and no Bella to captivate my heart.

As Alice leads me quickly and silently from the small clearing, I continue my earlier chant. "Bella," I whisper brokenly. Maybe some power somewhere would hear my plea and take pity. Or perhaps seek justice. Good had been stolen from this world by forces that, for all intents and purposes, should not exist. I had nothing to offer this life. In the last one hundred years I'd never improved it, so why had I been left in it? What purpose did it serve? No, there must be some God laughing with irony now. I cursed him with the foulest words I know.

Two can play at that game I eventually think to myself. If Alice had been watching the future she would have seen mine twist from a quick exit to a much darker path. My end is still set, but the date is no longer sure. If God wanted more darkness in this world, who was I to deny Him? Wicked anticipation curls in my stomach as I plan.

When we reach the rest of my family I make a half-hearted effort to seem part of the decision making aware that they'll make the wrong assumptions about my frame of mind. Tasks are assigned according to ability. Carlisle will head to the nearest public library where he'll forge documents that put my family in various, inconspicuous places during the last twenty-four hours. Jasper's influence will take care of the police since no one has the heart to ask me to monitor the situation. Whatever is left of us is assigned to head to a rendezvous point where we will wait for the others to report on their success.

When we divide up to attend to our respective duties I sigh irately. This is all taking much longer than the monster would like. A slight head ache irritates me as for once I listen intently to the minds of my family while we sit in the car.

_Why is he so quiet?_ _I would have expected him to be _freaking. I can see right the side of my face in Emmett's mind as he studies me openly. I guess if I were in his position I would be confused too.

Rosalie, however, is not as easily fooled by my silence. She guesses that something is off but can't know anything for sure. She is uncharacteristically sympathetic, though even that has its limits. She'd already written Bella off. Humans were replaceable in her mind. _Maybe now we all can finally get back to normal_, she muses. I have to try very hard not to rip her apart.

I know Esme is monitoring me which is why I am using what's left of my self control to keep my expression in check. Her grief over Bella is deep, but for me it's consuming. I have to shut her out or I'll lose my motivation.

_Soon_, I promise myself. No point getting caught up in her sentiment before I can make my move. I hope she will sense determination from me, but realistically she would probably see through my facade. I'd have to cover my bases quickly.

Alice has me most concerned. She's concentrating very, very hard on driving- no doubt trying to shut me out. I'm not foolish enough to believe she'd somehow missed my plans. I just need to figure out her move before she makes it.

Fourteen minutes and thirty-six seconds until we make it to the appointed rendezvous point. The monster inside me twitches impatiently. Everything flashing past my window seems like an opportunity. I look at every house, every building, and every car with eagerness. They're all a chance to release my growing destructive tendencies. We pass a small family and the monster roars hungrily.

_No_. I assert. Everything except that. For her. A fresh wave of grief washes over me at the thought of Bella. The image of her face stays fixed in my mind. Her expression is sad the way I'd always imagined it would be if I ever allowed what had once been Alice's vision to come true. But the chance of her becoming like me was long gone.

Eleven minutes.

_Edward_, I flinched away from Esme's soft voice.

"Don't," I say before she can complete her thought. My voice sounds harsh but I refuse to feel sorry. I would regret nothing.

_You won't let us share your burden, Edward? You won't let your family support you? _ Her words are like salt in my wounds. _I won't pretend to know your pain, but you don't think I can relate? _

I see the image in her mind of a small, unmoving child with a young woman's arms wrapped earnestly around it. I squeeze my eyes shut in a physical effort to block out her memory. I don't want to feel her sincerity, her love. Why can't she just leave well enough alone?

_Edward, I-_

"I said don't!" I finally shout at her. "Just leave it alone."

My words are echoed in three different minds, and I can hear the dangerous note of my voice accompanied by the slightly manic gleam in my expression. Their minds are for a rare moment silent as my angry warning hangs in the air. _No regret_, I remind myself and massage my temple as the headache persists.

When we finally arrive at the spot and drive beneath the freeway I can hear the broken minds of a group of nearby men. No Carlisle or Jasper though, which means that I'll have to wait further. I sigh and get out of the car in an attempt to be free of my family.

The air tastes like refuse; even the scent of the nearby humans smells tainted. The sense of purpose I'd felt as I plotted my own demise is beginning to wane while I wait for the rest of my family. Because swift action is no longer an option my perilously undecided mind is allowed to go over the day's events.

How did this happen? I wonder. There were dozens and dozens of ways for this story to have ended differently, but it didn't. _Why?_

Maybe I was fooling myself. There was never any other way for this story to end. How many times had I thought that? How many times had I considered leaving? No matter what angle you look at my story it comes down to the fact that _I_ took her out to the field that night; _I_ provoked James; _I_ let her out of my sight. The anguish of that truth sets my head to aching relentlessly

The monster inside me shies away from my guilt ridden thoughts. They curb my appetite for revenge, so as a distraction it draws my attention to the humans muttering to themselves a few yards away. Eat, drink and be merry it seems to say. Tomorrow we die, but today we drink.

Unluckily for the monster its target is not desirable to me because I can smell drugs in their tainted blood among other deterring features. No, all I really want is to be quit of this place. Eternity had offered me a chance for more than simply existing, but now all that was left was eternal retribution.

I don't look back as I walk away from the car. Shade had been my shelter for almost one hundred years. Even now its cool embrace promises to harbor my secret, but we don't want the same thing anymore. The line where shade meets sunlight has never seemed so full of opportunity before. Every step I take toward it is relief for my tortured heart and mind.

A chuckle escapes from me as I consider my choice. I could never have guessed that after an eternity of wandering _this_ would be my destination. No regrets, I remind myself once more. The Volturi can not refuse justice. If I expose us they would act swiftly. It was only a matter of time before the self appointed governors of our kind learn of my actions.

_What is he doing?_

_Edward!_

I can hear the cries of my would-be family. They won't be fast enough I realize with relief. I'm free.

Suddenly, the headache I've been ignoring flares painfully. It sears through my skull like a hot poker, and I realize belatedly that the mere fact that I'd had a minor headache was a red flag; vampires do not get headaches.

But I'm not able to berate myself for long, the pain becomes excruciating, even debilitating. With equal parts shock and pain I feel the pavement under my knees as I sink to the ground. The pain continues to increase spreading from my head into a chamber in my ribcage. I try to open my eyes to focus around my panic, but there is no other though but the pain in my head and the new pressure in my chest.

It grows from the dull pinch it had been to what feels like a crushing grip. As I clutch at my chest a pair of cool hands help me onto the ground where I feel them probing around for the source of my atypical behavior. I try to push them away in a misguided attempt to escape, but my protests are unheeded.

Finally, when the cool hands provide no relief and my cries don't stop the pain, it seems to climax with my head ready to implode and my chest crushed under the weight of God knows what. As I wheeze for air I hold onto one last thought before I give in to the pain.

"Bella," I whisper. And then I am swallowed in darkness.


End file.
